all my friends are superheroes (except you)

so i was thinking; some people really need to find out who they are. they really need to find their own character and personality, instead of following others. they need to think for themselves, rather than just agree with everyone else. its really annoying sometimes. it gets annoying when you KNOW that they disagree with you, or that they don't like a particular thing, yet they still agree or say they like the same things. yea, people like that have really pushed me off the edge lately.

anywhoos, when i was blogging about the sewing, season commented and said something like this (i'm paraphrasing of course): "sewing? sew me something." and what a coincidence, when i wrote that blog, i WAS making something for her. i jsut found that funny.

...sidekick t-shirt

so, here goes another of my "bus stories" (season knows what i mean by that); actually its more of a subway story. whatever...that detail is not important. anywhoos, so on the subway today, i saw this guy with a notebook open...actually more of a notepad than a notebook (again, another unimportant detail). anways, he had this notepad open and he starts doodling in it. thats ok. but then later, he puts his notebook away, and in the process, shows the page he was just doodling on. he drew the back of a naked woman. now now... calm down...i understand this is art...but its different when its on a bus! its art when u have a model in front of you...its just sick when you're on a bus...ok still dont understand? then i have a question for you. where did he get his "inspiration" from? wow, what a sicko!

bus stories are fun.

feeling: isolated
feeling: unheard
feeling: unwanted
feeling: like a backdrop
feeling: like our friendship is deteriorating
feeling: distant
feeling: inferior

in touch with my feminin side!!! haha...im sewing!!! (no not for fun...it has a purpose)

anywhoos, blogger is fine now...it doesnt act up anymore

YAY!!!
 

i hate blogger!!!
maybe its blogger being stupid or maybe its me being stupid...but this sucks!!!

i keep making changes to my template so that it will be somewhat original yet the day after, not only are the changes gone, EVERYTHING is gone and i have a blank blog! (yes, i am aware of the invisible ink dealy...but when i say nothing is there, i mean NOTHING is there)! all that hard work and trial and error, just gone like that *snaps fingers*

is this me being technologically challenged? if somebody knows the solution, please tell me; it would save me a lot of stress and time

hmmm...the thought of university scares me.
now i know i still have time to think and prepare, but its still creeping up fast. well first of all, i was in a discussion with my softball team and somebody said that they had a 93% average and they were still not accepted by waterloo (my university of choice)...93%!!!. WOW! still turned down? uh oh. then, later i was talking to some engineering graduates on my team and i was looking at the iron ring they had on and then we started talking about how i wanted to be an engineer. but they tried to persuade me to choose something else. they told me engineering is really not what it has worked itself up to be :S!!! uh oh. moreover, we had a discussion today at church about going into university and being prepared. during that whole time i kept thinking to myself, "university is a really scary place!". not just the schoolwork and education itself, but the lifestyle in general; the people. during the transition from middle school to high school, i really noticed a large change in mmany of my friends (usually a change for the worse) and i was just thinking, that change is going to be even greater when they go off to university. :S

scared about university

"Homer, i can see your noodle!"
"Shut up flanders!"

couldnt stop thinking about that today (its from the simpsons btw)...it made me laugh

 ok i'll be honest; i was jealous, and i think im still a little jealous. i dont kno why.well i mean i KNOW why...but i just dont know WHY (i love ambiguity).

so today i was changing my acoustic guitar strings *cringe*. they were green and moldy *YUMMY* and sounded pretty disgusting...but i hate changing acoustic strings cuz of the poppy dealy at the bridge...its such a hassle with that!!! my low E string for some reason lkooks like its just on the verge of popping out (the others are fine though). does anyone have any suggestions for a solution? Im just baffled.

so today i was at paul's house and once again...i had yet another dating talk. and i dunno...i had a very curious question. now lets say you meet a member of the same gender who has all the qualities you would like to have in a partner. this person will probably just be a very good friend of yours. however, if you find the exact same qualitites in a member of the opposite gender, suddenly its not so much just friendship anymore. suddenly you think to yourself, "wow, he/she is perfect". question. where do you draw the line? when do you say that this member of the opposite gender will become a very good friend and when they will become more than just that. i mean if the person was the same gender, they they would remain a really good friend, but if they're the opposite gender, you start to get "funny feelings". i dunno...by no means am i anti-dating btw...i just like to think long and hard about these things...(paul finds it funny and kind of ironic that of all people...im saying this since i have developed a reputation of being a mack and being rather flirtatious and all).

next topic...my anger!!! AHHHHH
grrr... it seems lately that i argue alot with my sister...especially at work. i have noticed something though- a pattern if you will. i would say something- something that to me, would be very normal, however it would upset her. now when she gets upset at me, i get angry. when i get angry at her, she gets more upset, and so on and so forth...all starting from her being upset at me...AHHHH!!! why am i like this?

o and one more thing...i made it through the weekend without having "certain issues" of mine!!!(btw, in case you're wondering, its supposed to be ambiguous...those who know, know. those who don't, don't)

...i think we're back to the double digits (NOOOOOOOOOO). in case you're wondering, im referring to softball, and our losing streak. last week, our team, MSG (the underdogs who will win the tournament) were more than happy (or at least i was) to lose by only single digits!!! however this game, we were back to our double digits. but o well, we played well and we had fun...HONESTLY!
 
anyways, so today our team had our outing and wow, i never expected so many people to just open up about their private lives (or their old selves rather) yea, it was just nice to listen to some testimonies, about how people came to know God and how they have changed since then. i just like that kind of stuff. but coincidentally, the topic of over worrying came up a lot (i say coincidence because we had a sermon today about worrying). it just seems to be ahuge problem in people's lives. worrying is something that i don't necessarily deal with too often (im quite laid back) but i can definately relate. I can relate in the sense that if you think about it, worrying is COMPLETELY useless! it accomplishes NOTHING! it doesnt make you more productive and it doesnt make you feel better. so how can i relate to this you ask? well, for those of me who know me well, kno that i can have quite a nasty temper, and i have huge issues with anger. but ultimately, anger is completely useless. it essentially accomplishes nothing, NOTHING AT ALL. and yet, i still have a huge problem with it. i let my anger and frustration take the better part of me. i become spitefull, filled with hatred, and i break things and what does that accomplish? well, you guessed it. nothing. its a funny thing though. im saying this now, yet when the situation arises, i will still flare up and explode. i don't understand myself sometimes.
 
anywhoos, yea, today in the car i was just thinking about topics to blog about. one came to my head, and i thought of how i could blog about it while being discrete about it, trying to now let people know who i was blogging about. but then i realized how stupid i was to even blog about something like that- how childish i was being by trying to spite people through blogging about them discretely. man i'm really stupid sometimes